April 2, 2005
The Awakened Aspiration
Pious people periodically go to their kuladeivam for the divine Darsan. Other people rush there pressed by worries. They all have a far, far greater power inside them if they care to go in. Piety and prayer are for the ordinary people; the inner domain is for the sannyasi is the belief. To all those who knock on that door, the door will open is my experience in having come to Mother. She offers it to us all.
One who is serious in his quest for its own sake, not because of some life frustration, is the one whom I shall happily address. The process of reaching the inner doorway and knocking at it is akin to going to a new place in search of a new address. The rules are not many: 1) You must have the address, 2) Before starting, you must acquire a good, correct knowledge of the route, 3) At no point on the way should you branch off for another work, 4) It is not necessary to add that you should not lose the address, purse, or bag out of carelessness. To go in the same rules will suffice.
Seeking the divine in the Mind is desirable but more difficult than seeking Him in the heart. Of course, mental people have to go the mental way. Here I take up the emotional route to the Divine seated in our hearts. Do not start on impulse. See whether your impulse survives a period of a month. A year will be good. At the end of the month, if the impulse is still there but stronger, it is a good sign. If it is weak, do NOT begin the quest until you again find the thirst at least as strong as in the beginning.
Such an impulse will be somewhat covered by running thoughts. Decide to put aside those thoughts, as you refuse to permit conversations after you start studying for an exam. It is not an easy task, but an essential step to be crossed. Do not get disheartened when you read somewhere that such a silence takes many births which is true. In your own experience, you would have noticed absence of thought– interference when you are engrossed in a work. This quest too demands such an absorption.
It is easy to notice interfering thoughts; not equally easy to know that we are generally occupied or possessed by several emotions such as our interest in a person. The moment thoughts cease, our possessive emotions will stir. If they do not stir, it does not mean they are not there. It only means the possession is so total that you are oblivious of it. Become aware of it and take an inner effort to detach yourself from it. Don’t say, ‘I am no yogi to give up all attachments’. We do rise above the occupation of such attachments during an office inspection or an exam preparation. What I am asking for is not a total permanent detachment meant for the yogi. I want one to rise above those imperfections during this endeavour that is only an experiment. By this time a QUIET will descend on you and mind will be still. With these two things established – silence in the mind and detachment from emotional occupation – you must start calling the Divine Presence inside. It can be verbally invoked or OM used. But words will abridge the power that comes in. Try to call in the Divine by a non-verbal invocation. How to call without words? When you use the name of your ista devata, after some time the call persists, but the word disappears. So, begin non-verbally the invocation.
It may start from the heart or mind and then move to the heart. Maintain the invocation till you cross the mind and heart, as neither is the whole Being. The call will move to a centre behind the heart. Go in, do not stop till you reach the very depth of that centre behind the heart. Persist in staying outside the door until the door opens. The real call begins only when the door opens. Do not stop until your effort of calling is exhausted. That must be enough to have a Darsan of the Divine. For yoga, the calling must be continued till Something inside starts calling. It is not necessary for one who aspires for Darsan. This Darsan will not be a vision. It will start generally as an envelope of light around you. Sometimes it will be of Peace. Either is enough, Peace is better. As the call proceeds, what was around you will enter into your nervous system as a pleasant vibration accompanied by a velvety feeling. At its peak it will be a sweet chillness. It takes a long time for the nerves – vital – to be filled in and saturated.
At its saturation, the descent will enter the mind or heart. Do not stop until both are filled up to saturation. Its entry into the centre behind the heart is the Darsan. Mostly it is the form of God you worship or better still, a concretely felt Presence that is impersonal. If you are one who has had such a Darsan earlier for whatever reason, this experience will be confirmatory. Only that this time it will be richer. This thing which I call Darsan is a spiritual experience of the Divine, to come into direct contact with the Inner Spirit for a split second. Though it will gently recede, its influence will be felt for months. This is something whose memory will linger with you all your life. It can be renewed periodically. Even one such experience is enough for a householder to be ushered into the domain of the Spirit. What the munis took years of tapas in the forest to attain will come to you at the end of the effort. To reach there is not so difficult as to maintain it. Frequent renewals help its performance.
If you can accept the Divine Mother and call Her into you in the utter Truth of your Being, She gives you this Darsan in the first ten or fifteen calls, as She awaits your call. Whatever deity you call in, She comes in through it as much as it permits.