$100,000.00
CHANDRU
It was raining outside. The rain fell faster and heavier. There
were flashes of lightning and peals of thunder.
On the wet branches of the thick
flame trees, helpless birds slept motionless. Their soft feathers bristled in the
cold wind.
I was awake at that odd hour. I had
not slept the previous night, the previous week and the previous fortnight. Yet, I was
awake.
It appeared as if the heaven had
descended on the earth. On that graceful morning, there was a problem.
I did not have money.
Without money, my business was like a
river that can never find its sea.
wwww
My computer shop was a small business with a respectable turnover.
But, the neck to neck competition, from the small guys in the town and the big boys on the
web, forced me to work on a wafer thin margin.
I made a profit that was just enough
for a decent living. I was single and lived in a small rented apartment. I owned a white
Honda Accord that was ten years old.
The possibilities of driving a
Mercedes Benz off the showroom, enjoying a holiday with a family and buying a big
waterfront house always seemed to be remote.
I worked hard harder than you
think. I always woke up with thoughts on expanding my business and slept with new plans to
grow more.
However, on that particular rainy
day, I was on the verge of losing even the small things I possessed. It was not my fault.
I sold to StarTech, an old client,
computers for $50,000 on fifteen days term. It was a big deal for me. Orders worth
$150,000 from new clients were in the pipeline.
I happily awaited StarTech payment to
pay off my suppliers and creditors. That was a business routine.
That routine was broken on the
blessed fifteenth day when StarTech telephoned me to discuss a small issue.
A small issue!
As their bank would give them a loan
only after sixty days, they could pay me only then. If I preferred, I could take my
computers back.
Take my computers back and do what?
Of course, Mrs. Anna Singers, the polite accountant of StarTech, profusely apologized and
promised many great future deals.
Then, hell broke.
My checks were returned unpaid.
Success was a private affair; failure
was a public funeral. Suddenly, everyone in the town knew my little story. So, supplies
did not arrive. Customers used the choicest epithets against me for not delivering their
computers.
My banker threatened to close my
account if there was one more returned check.
Creditors wanted their money back
within a week. You promised to pay on demand. Didnt you?
I borrowed from whomever I could.
High interest did not ring a bell. It was a matter of honor. Wasnt it?
When I could not borrow a cent, I
sold whatever I could. That left me with a few chairs, a dining table, a bed and my good
old car.
I tried to sell them too. There were
no buyers.
My key supplier sent a big van that
weekend with three Mike Tysons and took away all his goods. The big brothers assured me
when they left, Dont worry, buddy, well deliver them back at our cost
when you pay the bills. I thanked them and then did not have one good, or bad,
reason to go to my empty shop.
Within a fortnight, I became an
untouchable, a hunted animal and a fugitive nowhere to go.
I feared the telephone. At times, I
answered in a false voice and assured the caller it was a wrong call.
The doorbell became an alarm bell. I
would switch off the lights to make it appear that I was not at home. Unfortunately, the
bill collectors were not fools. I hated their sagely advice and veiled threats.
I avoided friends, especially
girlfriends.
I made many calculations and
projections, day in and day out, that would confuse Albert Einstein.
Finally, I figured out that if I
managed to raise $30,000 within three days, I could restore my old life and old habits
back to normal. $30,000 would be sufficient to reopen the shop and bag the orders in the
pipeline.
Time would rub out the bad scars.
There were only two possibilities.
Either the air should lay the dollars on my head or the water tap should spit the amount
out into my bucket.
Thus, I was awake and alone on that
graceful morning with dejection and depression.
wwww
The telephone rang. It was John Orchards. I should not have picked
up the receiver.
Hi, Bill, how are you?
John greeted.
Yeah, fine, John, how are
you? I asked.
I need your help. I have a
problem here. John was apologetic.
Good, I was not the only one who had
problems.
Tell me how I can help you,
mate. My voice immediately became soft.
My wife is in labor. I must
take her to the hospital. My fathers friend must catch his flight to India before
seven. Can you please drop him at the airport in your car? John requested.
Airport? You need to drive for thirty
minutes on the motorway in the rain and wind. I wanted to refuse. But, I could not. I owed
John two thousand dollars.
Ill be there in ten
minutes, I said.
Thank you, Bill. I know I can
always count on you. He will wait for you in the garage. John hung up the receiver.
Sure, John, you can always
count on me along with your two thousand dollars, I thought.
When I reached Johns place, a
stranger was sitting on his bag in the garage. John had locked his house and gone to the
hospital with his wife.
Hi, I am Bill, I said.
Hello, this is Punit. The
man spoke without accent.
He stood up and we shook hands.
Punit was in his early sixties. He
was tall. His eyes were soft and dreamy. There was a light in his eyes. I thought he wore
special contact lenses that reflected the garage light. Though he was dark, his skin was
bright.
Come on, lets go, I
said. I picked up his bag, threw it on the backseat, got into the car and closed the door
with a big bang.
He said, Punit thanks
you. He got into the car, closed the door gently and sat on the front seat.
He had some difficulty in wearing the
seatbelt.
People have seatbelts, but
dont wear them in India, he said sheepishly.
I drove the car carefully. After a
few minutes, he asked, Can Punit smoke in your car?
Sure, I said and opened
his window. I hated to open the car window and let the rain in on my car seats. But, I was
helpless.
He pulled out a thick panama cigar,
lit it and took a deep puff. Cigarettes rule the world. It is difficult to get good
cigars, he regretted.
I felt sick of the strong odor. I
said curtly, I dont smoke. I know nothing about cigars.
Punit apologizes. Sometimes, he
takes things for granted, he said in a soft voice and dropped the cigar into the
ashtray.
I noted that he did not use I and
referred to himself in the third person. He spoke each sentence after a pause of a few
seconds. The world is full of funny people, I thought.
Bill thanks you for your
understanding, I said lightly and closed the window quickly.
Punit smiled and I started to like
him.
Is this the first time you are
in this country? I asked.
No. Punit visits this country
every year, he said.
Do you travel a lot? I
asked.
No. Punit doesnt travel
much. He likes to stay in his room in India and do his work in silence, he replied.
What brings you to this country
every year? I was curious.
Punits friends organize a
business conference every year around this time. They are happy if he helps them a bit in
the conference, he said.
You are a speaker? I
asked.
No. Businessmen raise questions
about their business problems, sales, income and debts in the conference and Punits
friends answer them. If the pot is too hot for his friends, he answers some
questions, he said.
Great, I understand. You bring
in sales, arrange finance and take a cut, I said.
He smiled and said, No. The
solutions are based on new ideas you have not heard of. The participants learn the new
concepts and principles in the conference. They ask questions, get answers and solve the
problems on their own with the new methods.
I had seen advertisements for such
business conferences. Everyone had a new magic formula for the maladies of the world! But,
I did not want to hurt the gentleman. It was his business.
I asked, Good business?
He did not reply that question.
What do you do? he asked.
It was a pain to reply. I said,
I own a computer shop. I wanted to talk about something else.
You will find the conference
useful, he said.
I thought, Perhaps, if you give
me a complimentary ticket. But, I said, I think so.
There was a pause for a few moments.
I expected him to tell his success stories. But, he was silent.
His handbag was full of thick books.
So, I asked him, Do you read a lot?
A lot, he confirmed.
What kind of books do you
read? I asked.
Spiritual books, he said.
I have heard about Gita,
I told him and showed off my knowledge.
What do you know about
Gita? There was a sudden interest in his voice. I felt victorious.
When some royal brothers fought
in India, a god man gave a sermon on peace and advised them not to fight. That is
Gita. I was confident.
Actually, he gave a sermon on
the importance of fighting. When some of the brothers did not want to fight, the god man
advised and forced them to fight, he said with a disarming smile.
Really? Dont you think it
is a mistake on the part of the god man to support a war? I was on my defense as my
knowledge on Gita fell flat.
Is it a mistake? he
asked.
Yes. God is full of love and
forgiveness, I said.
How do you know? he
asked.
Well, I have read so in many
holy books, I said.
Who wrote those books? God or
Man? he asked.
I was silent. I did not reply. I was
not in a mood for a heated philosophical debate on that windy cold morning. He sensed my
lack of interest.
If you have a financial
problem, what will you do? he asked.
I will make a list of all
receivables and payables and find out my net worth. I will look for ways to raise money or
increase income. Thorough analysis of all the facts may give a meaningful solution,
I said and thought, Meaningful solution? Where is it?
Punit asked, What will happen
if you ignore a few items and deal only with what you like?
Confusion, complication and
bankruptcy, I said.
Most of the holy books
concentrate on one aspect, he said.
Do you mean they lie? I
asked.
No. To know a thing well, you
must analyze all aspects and resolve the contradictions. Only then you will be able to
synthesize the facts and learn the truth, perhaps an integral one, he said.
I wanted to change the subject.
What do you do in India? I asked him after a pause.
Punit reads and writes a lot.
He spends his time in silence and inner work, he said.
I thought I did not hear him right.
I have never heard of such a profession. What is inner work? I asked.
It is not a profession. It is a
way of living. It is the true way of being, he said.
What sort of inner work do you
do? I was curious.
You will understand the inner
work only if you know about the new consciousness, he said.
What is it? I asked him.
What is consciousness? he
asked me.
When you are awake and think,
you are conscious. When you are asleep or in coma, you are unconscious, I said with
confidence.
The new consciousness Punit
talks of is a living being. It came to earth a few years back, he said.
An alien? I asked.
No, he said.
What is it doing? I
asked.
It is speeding up human
evolution, he said.
Oh, God! Oh, My God! I must be
careful with that strange man who mixed up and confused real science and speculative
spirituality.
Its interesting, I
lied.
Quite so, he said
innocently and continued, It is the fire of the evolution. It is pulling down a
beautiful future onto the earth. If you wish, you too can pull a little.
My safety sensors flashed red lights.
I looked at the most dangerous man on the earth from the corner of my eyes. I decided not
to disagree with him ever.
Has anyone seen it? I
asked. After a moment, without knowing why, I said, I want to see it.
He hesitated for a moment and asked,
Do you have a problem?
Everyone has problems. Why do
you ask? I wanted to know.
Punit said, If you have a
material problem, it is an easy route to know and understand this consciousness. It is a
truth of matter. It has the power to solve even impossible problems...
Every problem has a
solution, I interrupted.
Really? Do you have a solution
to your important problem? he asked.
I was silent for a few moments.
Right. Some problems dont have solutions. But, time will heal the wound,
I said.
An excuse! When the new
consciousness acts, everything is possible, he said.
In theory, everything is
possible, I said.
What is your problem? he
ignored my comment and asked in a soft voice.
I did not want to discuss my problem
with him. So, I said, Tell me about the new consciousness.
He said, Words are inadequate
to describe it. You cant understand it with your mind. The only way to understand it
is through your own experience. He closed his eyes for a few seconds and then said,
You have called it. It is ready to help you.
When did I call it? I
wondered.
You wanted to see it. A simple
sincere call is enough, he said and continued, You must ask for its help, if
you really want to solve a problem.
It was an embarrassment to discuss my
personal problem with others. But, I wanted to have a solution, if there was one under the
sun. It was not the right time to worry about logic or magic.
Thirty thousand dollars in three days
or the party was over.
I have a serious problem. I
need thirty thousand dollars for my business. My bills are overdue. My credit rating is
low. I have no one to help me, I told him with shame.
Your problem is a simple
one, Punit said.
You dont know the
magnitude of my problem. I dont have any money or property. I protested.
The solution is within
you, he said.
You have no idea about the
gravity of the reality. I began to distrust him.
You are not able to solve your
problem, because you think you alone can solve it, he observed.
Do you want me to hire a
financial consultant? These consultants are expensive and think their clients are
stupid, I said to him.
You dont have a financial
problem; you have only an inner problem, he said.
Do you suggest that I meet a
psychiatrist? I was appalled.
No. Your mind created your
problem. Trying to think and solve it is like fighting your right hand with your left
hand, he said.
Is my intelligence
useless? I asked.
You know the results of your
intelligence. You will suffer as long as you want to do everything by yourself with your
mind, he said.
Why do you insult the
mind? I asked.
He said calmly, No. The mind is
a great instrument. But, it has its own problems like everything else. It is conditioned
to seek support only from known things, known people and known methods. Dont rely on
your mind.
Then what do I do? I
asked.
There is nothing to do. You
have everything to undo. Real progress will be made when you undo your past, Punit
said.
Past is past, I reminded
him.
We think about the past, act in
the present and imagine about the future. The new consciousness doesnt have time
constraints. It can act in the past, present and future, he said.
Its difficult to
believe, I said.
That is the problem with the
mind, he said.
What can I do now? I was
anxious.
His reply was short. Dig,
throw.
Sorry? I asked.
You already have a portion of
the new consciousness in you. Every human being has it, he said.
I do? I did not believe
him.
Yes. It is in the middle of
your chest, Punit asserted.
I looked down into my chest and said
sarcastically, Excuse me; I see only my shirt buttons.
My defiance did not deter him.
It is there even if it is
invisible, Punit said.
How can I recognize it? Does it
have a big head or a long tail? I asked him with a smile.
He showed his thumb. It is a
little flame of burning white fire. Its of the size of a thumb.
But I dont see it,
I told him.
It is there, whether you
believe it or not, see it or not, he said and asked, Do you really want to
solve your problem?
Yes. Yes. Yes. I
thundered.
When you are alone, close your
eyes. Imagine a white light in the middle of your chest. Observe and reject your stray
thoughts and feelings, Punit said and gave a pause.
I am listening, I assured
him.
He continued, In a few minutes,
you will be calm. Bring each and every part of your financial problem to the fire. Big or
small, throw them into the fire. Offer them to the fire one by one. Do not think or worry
about anything.
Its simple, I said.
No. It isnt. When you
analyze your problem, youll discover that many wrongful thoughts, attitudes,
feelings and habits are behind the problem. Set them right and offer them to the
fire, he said and continued, Problems have many layers physical,
emotional and mental. You need to work on all the layers patiently.
I dont understand much
about this process, I confessed.
Trust the fire and begin with
whatever little you know. The fire will do the rest, he said.
After a pause, Punit said, Do
this just as an engine driver digs and throws the coal into the fire. Dig the coal and
throw it into the fire.
So, you call it dig-throw
method? I asked.
No. It is consecration.
Concentrate on the fire and consecrate your problem to the fire, Punit said.
I have a wavering mind.
Besides, my problem kills my concentration, I complained.
Call the fire and ask for help
with faith, he said.
Will it respond? I
wondered.
If it doesnt answer, call
and still call, Punit said and continued, Call the fire, dig the coal and
throw it into the fire. The engine will move and you will reach your destination safely,
sooner or later.
The strength of his voice and his
sincerity made me trust him. Yet, I had my questions.
When will I get the
solution? I asked.
Punit doesnt know,
he replied.
Who will deliver the
solution? I asked.
Punit doesnt know,
he replied.
Where will the solution come
from? I asked.
Punit doesnt know,
he replied.
How will I get the
solution? I asked.
Punit doesnt know,
he replied.
Thats all you have to
say? Will I ever have a solution? I was angry.
It is a promise from Punit. You
can take his word for it. There was an air of assurance in his voice.
Will I get what I want? I
was eager.
You will have the best
solution. It may not be the one you expect, he said.
What should I do? I
wanted to know.
Dig, Throw, he said.
What shouldnt I do?
I asked.
Dont expect, he
replied.
What do you mean? I consecrate
my problem. So, I expect results, I said.
Great expectations lead to
great disappointments! Leave everything to the fire that knows all. The solution will be
delivered to you only when you dont expect it, he said to me.
Its difficult not to
expect, I said.
Punit understands. But, that is
a basic condition, he said with a smile.
A basic condition? Are there
other conditions? I asked him.
Faith and perseverance. Have
faith in the fire. If you cant solve your problem the first time you consecrate,
dont give up. Repeat the process the next day. Try again and again, he said.
Try again and again. Good, that made
some sense.
What if I find it difficult to
practice as you say? I asked him.
If you really want to solve a
problem, you must do something about it, he said.
Yes. Its true, I
agreed.
Sincerity and truthfulness are
the golden keys. Methods are for the mind. Begin with the method I gave you. If you are
sincere, the work will be taken up by the fire sooner or later. You can never deceive the
fire, he explained.
How will I know that my
consecration is successful? I asked him.
There are many indications. You
will know them from your own experience. But, there is a general principle. If the burden
or pressure goes off from your mind and heart, you can safely assume that your
consecration has been accepted by the fire, he explained.
I have many dirty secrets that
I dont want to tell anyone, I told Punit.
Put all before the light in
your heart so that the light may work on them for the best. All faults and errors are
redeemed by repentance, Punit said.
What will happen if I repeat my
mistakes? I wanted to be sure about the consequences.
If you dont change,
youll remain stuck in your own self-created mud and cant progress, Punit
said.
I understand, I said.
Call the light with the right
attitude and youll never have such questions in your mind, said Punit.
What is the right
attitude? I asked him.
Complete surrender to the inner
light with pure faith, Punit said.
After a few minutes of silence, I
asked Punit, Has anybody actually solved a problem by consecration?
Consecration has done many
wonders. Punit doesnt want to talk about them, Punit said.
I thought that he meant his personal
experiences.
I am not talking about experts
like you. I want to know about other mortals like me. Is consecration possible for the
rest of us? I asked Punit.
Some of Punits friends do
try, he said.
Tell me about their
experiences, I said.
They are not able to consecrate
all their problems. Punit regretted.
Why? I wondered.
Unwillingness to change,
Punit said with a smile.
Change is a painful
process, I said.
But, without change, nothing
can be done. Many try to do consecration. But, behind it, they make a cover for their
personal desires and demands, said Punit.
If it really works, we can
solve any problem with consecration. It will be a life skill. But, I dont know much
about these things. If I need any help, what should I do? I asked him.
Trust the fire. It is the
infallible inner guide. It will do the needful, he said.
We arrived at the airport. I parked
the car.
Your words give me some hope.
Do you talk about the new consciousness in your conference? I asked.
Punit speaks a different
language in the conference. He doesnt talk about the fire openly with strangers. The
opposing atmosphere brings on him stress. But, he saw a possibility in you, a real one.
Besides, your contact didnt disturb his atmosphere, he said.
I did not understand what he said.
However, I told him, You are wonderful. I dont want to lose your contact. Here
is my card. I gave him my business card.
Punit thanks you. He
doesnt have a business card, he said and smiled.
He grabbed a piece of paper from his
handbag, hesitated for a moment and wrote down his address. His handwriting was beautiful.
Didnt you like to give me
your address? I was worried about his hesitation.
No. It was not his
unwillingness. He remembered the fire and offered the act of writing to the fire. A
conscious act, he said and smiled.
Thank you, I took the
paper from him and told him with gratitude, Thanks for everything. I have one last
question.
Yes? he smiled and placed
his bags on a trolley.
After a pause, I asked him with a
smile, Didnt your schoolteacher teach you the word I?
Punit laughed merrily for the first
time and winked his eyes. He waved his right hand briskly and rolled away his trolley to
Terminal 15 without a word and without looking back. He disappeared.
I remembered a poem, Thy voice
has wakened my heart to an unknown bliss, Brighter than summer, brighter than my flowers,
Into the lonely borders of my life.
Then I had a quick breakfast at the
airport restaurant. I paid 25% more than the downtown restaurant for the same fried
chicken breast and cheese sandwich, just because it was airport.
I did not bother to collect the
change from the beautiful salesgirl. Have it.
Rain poured. I drove slowly. The
wipers worked hard to keep the windscreen clear of water. The wipers sang. Dig, throw.
Dig, throw. Dig, throw.
wwww
When I entered my apartment, the clock struck seven. I sat on my
chair and wondered what to do, as I had nothing to do.
I tried to remember and understand
Punits words. It was difficult to believe everything he said. But, strangely, I was
not able to reject his words as useless.
An inaudible voice from my heart
murmured Call, dig, throw; call, dig, throw. With each passing minute, the
voice became stronger and stronger. It was sticky.
I decided to give it a go.
I got up from my chair to do some
warm up exercises. Then, I sank into my armchair comfortably, removed my shoes, stretched
my legs and closed my eyes.
I began to observe my thoughts.
The first thought was about the
breakfast. The chicken was not hot. I should have asked the salesgirl to give me a new hot
piece. I refused to think further.
The next moment, the second thought
sprang. It was about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Would the terminator be a good governor of
California? Would he act in movies again? I stopped there.
There was a momentary pause before
the third one crawled in. It was about the airport restaurant salesgirl. The name badge on
her red shirt said that she was Debbie. When she served me breakfast, her pale white left
thigh flashed for a moment through the slit of her black skirt.
I lingered on the thought. I did not
want to reject it. The image flashed again and again. I felt good to think about her
beautiful body. I indulged in it and forgot myself for a while.
Gradually, the decision to do
consecration began to lose its intensity.
Suddenly, I realized that I was on
the wrong track, gathered myself, opened my eyes and scolded myself for losing the sense
of purpose.
I did not want to close my eyes. If I
did, Debbie would trouble me again with her natural resources. Precisely at that moment, I
remembered to call the fire and ask for help.
I imagined a flame of white fire in
the middle of my chest. I told the fire in silence like a child, Hello, I dont
know who you are. I suppose you exist. Please answer me. I dont challenge or deny
your existence. Something in me tells that you exist. Otherwise, I would not be talking to
you. I want to dig the parts of my financial problem and throw them into you. Drive away
the disturbing thoughts. What I cant do, I am sure, you can do. Please help
me.
With that simple prayer, I closed my
eyes and got ready to reject the next thought.
But, there was a little miracle. The
thoughts that came in were only about my problem. Useless thoughts did not show up their
ugly or beautiful faces.
I thought about my business. I
imagined that I threw the name of my business into the tiny little fire in my chest.
I required thirty thousand dollars. I
told the fire, I need thirty thousand dollars. I consecrate my need to you.
Then, I thought about the overdue
bills. I consecrated them one by one to the white fire.
I remembered my products, employees,
bank, suppliers and customers and threw them in the burning fire. The fire grew a little
and became stable.
There was nothing for a few moments.
Debbie smiled seductively and asked,
What can I do for you?
I ignored her. She disappeared.
I concentrated on the fire. I went
back in time.
I recalled the ups and downs of my
business. I gave them to the fire.
Suddenly, images began to appear. I
did not have to think and imagine the parts of my problem from that moment. I just looked
at the flashing images of my past business life without a reaction.
I watched a television serial. I
watched it without changing the channel.
Big things came out. Small things
came out.
Big or small, important or silly,
relevant or irrelevant - I caught everything and threw them into the soft fire.
The clock ticked away the minutes.
Then there was an image, sticky and
black. The fire did not consume it.
Esther, a customer, paid thirty
dollars in cash for a keyboard. Later, she forgot that and sent a check for the same
keyboard.
I knew it was mistake. Yet, I ignored
it.
Thirty dollars was not a big deal.
After all, I did not cheat Esther. It was her mistake.
Her mistake? Really?
There was a sudden revelation. I was
capable of cheating others. At an opportune moment, I would cheat the innocent in the
unsuspecting broad daylight.
My attitude was wrong, totally wrong.
I had no financial problem, only a wrong attitude.
In a moment, Mr. Clean became Mr.
Dirty.
I had to face myself.
I was a cheat. It was difficult to
accept.
Just thirty dollars and I was a
cheat!
I felt thorns in my eyes. I wanted to
open my eyes and give up the whole exercise. But, I persisted.
I resolved to return the money to
Esther. I told her from the deepest depths of my heart, Esther, I am sorry.
There was crack in the stone.
I looked at the fire. This is a
promise. Ill never repeat the deception. No more wrong attitudes, small or
big, I told the fire.
Scales smoked in thin air - in a
puff. Thirty was perfectly equal to three millions.
A sword of light struck on the sticky
knot heavily. There was a sudden freedom.
A dark point was flung into the fire.
The point disappeared.
Mr. Dirty disappeared. Mr. Clean
disappeared.
Only the mystic fire existed. It
burnt and burnt.
No Bill. No chicken. No Arnold. No
Debbie.
The fire grew.
Waves of thoughts, feelings, actions,
desires and disappointments suddenly sprang from nowhere.
I offered each and everything to the
fire, one by one and each at a time.
Waves of happy and sorrowful faces,
right and wrong attitudes and favorable and unfavorable circumstances appeared.
I offered each and everything to the
fire, one by one and each at a time.
The fire consumed the good and the
bad.
The engine driver dug the coal and
threw it into the fire. He did his work patiently.
Then I knew what the inner work was.
I dug the black pit of my past and
threw the coal into the fire.
My pit! The bottomless pit!
The fire grew. It grew and grew.
I dug. I threw.
My minutes swallowed months and
years.
I dug. I threw.
I heard the future song that no ears
can hear.
I dug. I threw.
I saw the vast landscape that no eyes
can see.
I dug. I threw.
I tasted the sweet juice that no
tongues can taste.
I dug and dug the black pit of mire.
I threw and threw the coal into the fire. I did my inner work.
I dug. I threw.
A small window suddenly opened in
silence.
I saw a faint light from a distant
ship that floated on a dark sea. The tiny little light twinkled like an ageless star.
A door opened on my front. An
unexpected freedom broke my shackles.
A door opened on my right. A tiny
fountain of freshwater sprang from my desert heart.
A door opened on my left. An unknown
icy hand began to caress my burning head.
A frail blade of grass quivered in a
windless air on a high mountains summit.
There was a little cascade of peace
above my confused head. Clean air rushed in to fill my thirsty lungs.
Someone lit the sun that never sets.
A fugitive white bird flew and
wandered in the infinite bright blue sky.
I broke into another space and time.
In thirty minutes, I crossed millenniums.
A beautiful fairy with twelve golden
wings blew a long whistle from a faraway fairyland.
There was a soft thud.
The wheels rolled.
The engine moved.
My journey to the center of my heart
Began on the sunlit path.
wwww
The telephone bell rang to break the silence. I picked up the
receiver. Before I could speak, I heard the voice tinged with warmth and friendship.
Hi, is that Bill?
I was delighted to hear the voice of
my old friend, Melanie, especially at that peaceful moment.
Can a voice smile? I would bet my
head on Melanies voice.
Melanie! I thought you had
banished me from your life. It has been centuries since you called me last! I
exclaimed.
She laughed. This Melanie always
laughed. When she did not laugh, she would smile.
We exchanged pleasant words for a few
minutes. Suddenly she asked, Bill, how is your business?
I had a ready curse on my tongue that
I did not allow to escape my lips. I recited an old poem in a philosophical tone,
Eyes can watch the distant stars in the galaxy but hands are too short to reach
them.
Melanie giggled, What if I give
you a spaceship to reach your stars?
Whats she up to?
Theres something up with
you, isnt there? I was curious.
Bill, John said some disturbing
things about you. Dont worry. I am with you, she said in a tender voice.
I hated John. Thank you,
Melanie, I know you, I mumbled with shame.
My cousin Ralph telephoned me
just now to talk about some family affair. He has truckloads of money. He wants to lend
his money to good businesses. The moment he said that, I thought of you, Melanie
said.
The rain grew more and more. Large
drops that fell on the window shades made a musical noise.
Melanie, my heart started
to beat heavily, I dont have any property to secure his money. Though I
wanted to have that money, I knew the rules of the money game.
He doesnt insist on any
security other than a good business and honesty. Melanies voice reassured.
I was silent for a moment. Why did
Ralph want to lend to me? Did Melanie have any hidden agenda behind the transaction?
Thoughts swiftly passed through my
mind. I knew Melanie. Nevertheless, I wanted to play it safe.
Perhaps Ralph expects a high
interest rate? I was doubtful.
No. Ralph has all his money in
bank deposits. He gets just 5%. Bank lends to small businesses at 11%. Ralph wants to lend
for 8%. You gain 3% and he gains 3%. Both of you can have a great deal, Melanie
explained patiently.
Yes. Its brilliant,
I said.
Bill, you dont have any
property to secure bank loan. Even if you are ready to pay 18%, banks will not lend to
you, Melanie said with hesitation.
Yes, Melanie. You are
right. I was ready to agree to whatever she thought, said and felt. How much
will I get? What are the repayment terms? I asked. Even the deaf could sense the
impatience in my voice.
Melanie said, I dont know
how much you need. But, I have already told him that you need $50,000. You must pay the
interest at the end of each quarter. Whenever you can, repay the loan either in pieces or
in whole.
Melanie, what should I do
next?
Nothing, Melanie laughed
and said, Ralph asked me to come to his office this afternoon. He doesnt even
want to see you as I back you. You can meet him when you feel good. Ill collect the
money and the documents that you need to sign and come to your apartment. Will you be free
at two?
There was a pause of some moments. I
was speechless. Then, suddenly, I remembered to thank her.
Melanie, I will make myself
free on any day and at any time for you, I said and continued, I have no words
to express my gratitude. You have done something
Bah, bah. Let us have lunch
together on your dirty dining table at two. Ill bring food, Melanie laughed,
Bye, Bill.
Before I could say anything, she hung
up the receiver.
wwww
Leaning back in my chair, I felt something in the way. It was my
car key.
An idea flashed instantly. If I could
borrow a little more, I could drive a new car off the showroom
I shivered slightly in my chair,
though I did not change my position. After a few moments of contemplation, I threw the new
car idea out of my mind. I flung the car key on the tea table and stretched my legs
comfortably.
Some bird began to sing. Her mate
responded with a loud chirp, in spite of the rain.
My heart was overflowing with joy and
gratitude to Melanie. I was secretly ashamed of myself for my momentary negative thoughts
about her. Melanie was the only person who had ever helped me without expectations of
return favors.
But, who was this Ralph? How did he
earn his money? The thought of dealing in illegal drug money sent waves of chill through
my spine.
Melanie would never betray me. But,
she was innocent. She trusted everyone. You could never teach her distrust and hatred.
I was not ready to trust the faceless
Ralph. Why should he give me an almost free lunch? Nevertheless, I wanted his money.
Doubt, expectation, distrust,
impatience, hope and fear took turns to tease me. My little head and heart had enough room
for all kinds of vibrations.
However, something in me trusted
Melanies goodwill. That trust in her goodwill was strong enough to ward off the
little rascals.
I sank into my chair, and gradually
my confused mind went dark.
I did not know the exact moment that
Lady Sleep put her tender arms around me and whispered unutterable secrets into my ears.
wwww
When I woke up, it was not yet two. The room was noisy with the
tick of the clock. I grew impatient.
I had shaven the previous evening.
Yet, I shaved again carefully without a nick and made sure my face was smooth. As I
showered, I used plenty of soap.
When I felt clean, I dried myself and
wore the best casual shirt and jeans I had.
I looked at the mirror for the
twentieth time.
I sprayed liberal doses of rose air
freshener in the living room and the dining room.
Melanie liked roses and fresh air.
I dusted and arranged the newspapers,
magazines and books. Everything was clean and in order.
Melanie loved cleanliness and
orderliness.
I cleaned the dining room and
arranged the dishes and bowls on the table.
The clock struck two and the doorbell
rang promptly. I looked at the mirror for the last time to make sure I was at my best.
Then I opened the door.
Melanie smiled at me.
Melanie was a fair woman in her late
twenties. Woman? She looked like a tall teenage girl.
Her glistening blond hair was long
and thick. She had carefully parted her flowing hair exactly in the middle. Her bright
face was luminous.
Under her thin curved brows, I saw
two dazzling butterflies. A few raindrops adorned her healthy cheeks.
As she smiled, beautiful pearls
sparkled in the crack of the coral rock.
My blood ran quicker.
The enchantress broke the spell with
her soft voice, Hi, and smiled.
Hi, Ive been
waiting
Before I could finish, she interrupted.
For the lunch? she asked
lightly.
For you, I grinned. That
was a lie. Only the money was on my mind.
Melanie was pleased and said, I
know. She gave me a warm hug.
She wore an elegantly embroidered
sleeveless yellow blouse and a beautiful black skirt.
Come in, Come in. I was
glad to let the angel into my apartment.
My eyes browsed her hands quickly.
She had a small wallet and a carry bag.
What a disappointment! There were no
signs of documents. Had she kept the papers in the car as it was still raining?
She placed her beautiful Italian calf
leather wallet on the small tea table in the living room and walked graciously to the
dining room. She knew my apartment well.
As I followed her, I hummed a song,
Youre sixteen, Im seventeen
She blushed and said, You make
me feel like a teenager.
You are a teenager, I
assured her.
My mind was preoccupied with the
money. Where were the documents? Was it a bad joke? If it was a joke, that would be the
last time I met Melanie, I swore.
The table was clean. I had kept
everything in order. The dishes, bowls and cups were ready. I didnt expect
this, she said.
Melanie was happy that I cared to
clean the dining room and table for her.
She sat on a chair and religiously
opened the carry bag. She took out four hot packs, placed them on the table and began to
unpack them.
I sat next to her and said, You
have brought a restaurant. What is the menu, madam?
Your favorites, sir, she
said and bent her head slightly. Crab cakes, lobster bisque soup, garnish salad,
barbecued chicken breast, seafood pasta, rice, shrimp curry and banana cream pie.
She poured the hot lobster bisque
soup into the soup bowls. She did not allow me to help myself. She served me as we had the
food.
Melanie talked about her family, my
family, our school days and our friends.
I did not like to listen to anything
other than the money. But, I listened to her. I spoke to her. I laughed with her. I put
the Academy Award winners to shame with my fine performance.
Nothing was on my head except the
money.
When the lunch was over, we cleaned
the dishes and appreciated the food.
Melanie wiped her satin lips with her
silk kerchief. I was not in a mood to envy the kerchief.
She sat on a chair in the living room
and crossed her legs as I sat on the chair opposite to her.
She looked at her watch and
exclaimed, It is quarter to four! I lose my sense of time when you are with
me.
I lose my sense of time even
when I think of you, I said with a smile.
She blushed again.
I thought, What happened to the
money? If Ralph does not want to give $50,000, I will be happy with a lesser amount - any
amount.
I did not want to initiate the
discussion on money, though that was the only thing on my mind at that particular moment.
The mercury was rising. I thought I
could withstand the pressure only for a few more seconds.
Bill, I went to Ralphs
office at half past One, Melanie began.
At last, at last!
Melanie continued, Ralph was a
Small Business Loan Analyst in the Country Bank. If he thought a project was useful to the
community and the borrower was honest, he gave the loan without a second thought. His
where eagles dare attitude landed him in trouble. He lost his job last
year.
The bank must care for its
shareholders and depositors. You cant blame the bank for showing Ralph the
door. I defended the bank.
She swabbed her lips with the
delicate tip of her tongue and said, But he was lucky. His rich aunt bequeathed him
a big piece of land in Redmond. It was worth six hundred thousand dollars but there were
no buyers.
After a pause, she said, Last
year Microsoft built their new development center near his land. The news drove the land
price to the roof. The land became a six bagger within a few months and he made three
million dollars.
Stock market and real estate
can make you a prince or pauper in a night, I said and felt sorry that I did not
have a rich aunt.
Melanie smiled to agree and said,
When I spoke about you this morning, he received it well. I dont know what
happened later. When I met him in his office, he raised some questions about you, your
business and the safety of his money.
She paused for a few moments and
filled the room with silence.
The reflection of my image on the
mirror was noisy in that silence of disappointment.
Yes, Melanie, I said with
a deep sigh, I understand
Melanie interrupted with a smile,
I assured Ralph that the money with Bill is safer than the money with the Country
Bank and Bills word is his bond.
There was a mischief in her blue
eyes. Or was it my imagination?
Melanie continued, I told him
that if he was not comfortable in having a deal with you, I would sign the documents and
take the money in my name.
I began to believe in Divine
incarnation.
Ralph said if I would sign the
documents, he would be happy to double the amount. I signed the documents and he cut a
check for $100,000! Melanie said.
She picked up her wallet and opened
it. She pulled out a small folded plastic envelope and pushed it over to me.
You dont have to sign any
document. Here is the check for $100,000. I have endorsed it in your name, said
Melanie.
I stared at the envelope in
disbelief.
I wanted to express my gratitude with
the finest words. I did not know how other men spoke at those moments of grace. I searched
for words in silence.
Melanie, I
I
hesitated for a moment.
So, you dont know how to
thank me and how to express your gratitude. Melanie laughed.
This Melanie always laughed. When she
did not laugh, she would smile.
She held my hands, looked into my
eyes with her blue eyes and said, All the best, Bill. She pressed my hands
tenderly, I have an appointment with my dentist at half past four. I must rush
now.
She smiled and left.
wwww
The rain had stopped. Only the raindrops were falling from the wet
leaves of the thick flame trees and the windows.
The sun was showing his warm face on
and off from behind the clouds like a giggling little girl peeping at a stranger from
behind her mother.
The infinite sky was broken and blue
among fast moving white cotton clouds.
The raindrops on the windows started
to sparkle like little diamonds in the eternal sun.
The breeze fanned my face.
My eyes grew moist.
That was the moment I learnt to trust the Power of the Consecration.
If you have any comments
or questions,
please send them to the
email address
postchan @ gmail. com